Background: A few months ago, my attention was drawn to a problem with regard to ministry to the home-bound: disabled, widow(er)s, chronically ill, and caregivers. Ministry should be with the home-bound instead of to the home-bound.

The purpose in writing this post is to educate both the church and the home-bound. You see, as someone who grew up involved in ministry as a pastor’s kid and who is now home-bound, I have lived both sides. Frankly, one of my biggest concerns is that this post would come across as either accusing or whining. That is the last thing that I want. I believe there are things to learn on both sides: the church and the home-bound.

My heart broke as I listened to the story a dear home-bound person was sharing. She was alone, disabled, and grieving at having recently lost a close family member. Finances were tight; needs were great. She felt completely alone. She felt as if the church didn’t care.

My mind went to what I could do to help, but our ministry is a ministry of encouragement. We are not equipped to assist with daily tasks. Imagine my surprise as she then went on to tell how her church was coming weekly to help with lawn care and bringing groceries. Another member was coming to take her on an outing to get her out of the house.

After the call, I pondered what I had heard as well as what she said without words. She was missing connection, belonging. Honestly, her call made me realize how many other home-bound are in the same predicament. This dear lady had a church who cares. Yet, she felt abandoned. Her physical needs were being met; her emotional needs were not. Many churches are unable or unwilling to do as much as her church was doing. Or, the churches are simply unaware of the needs. How can we correct this? How can the church come alongside? What can the home-bound do?

Two “sides” to this have come to mind as I have pondered this in the months since I took that call.

1. The Church.
   • Scripture is clear; we are to help those who are widows, disabled, weak, and in need. Think of these verses (KJV) :
     • James 1:27: “²⁷ Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” Helping the fatherless and widows, and I would include the home-bound or disabled here, is part of pure religion.
     • Romasn 15:1: “15 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”
     • 1 Thessalonians 5:14: “¹⁴ Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” Notice that this verse includes both the feebleminded and weak which speaks to both the emotional/mental struggles and physical struggles of the home-bound.
     • Isaiah 35:3: “³ Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.”
     • Acts 20:35: “³⁵ I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
     • Romans 12:13: “¹³ Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.” Provide for their needs. Have hospitality for them even if that requires additional supports due to their needs or bringing them a meal and planning to enjoy it with them, not just dropping it off. (Be sure to contact them ahead in order to accommodate schedules and needs.)
     • Luke 12:12-14: “¹² Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. ¹³ But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: ¹⁴ And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.” Eating together brings connection and relationship. There is just something special about it.
     • Romans 12:15: “¹⁵ Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Walking the disabled journey is lonely. Doctor’s appointments can be overwhelming in both good and bad ways. Be a listening ear.
     • Galatians 6:2: “² Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Bear those burdens, even the emotional ones.
     • Hebrews 13:1-3: “13 Let brotherly love continue. ² Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ³ Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.” Notice here that these things are done in love. You will find that you will be blessed as you cultivate relationships with the disabled and home-bound. They are living their faith in special ways each day, dependent on God in ways that others are not. Then, remember them as if you are bound with them, as if you were suffering what they are. It was mentioned to me once by a precious friend that solitary confinement is used for punishment for a reason. It is tough. These dear people go through their own daily solitary confinement in their disability.
     • More verses are found here.
   • The disabled do need physical and financial help. Disability and chronic illness brings a multitude of medical expenses, normal household expenses can cost more given the inability to hit sales or go to multiple stores for the best price, and adaptive equipment costs. Household chores, lawn work, and even transportation all are legitimate needs when they are also on a limited income. Assistane is always needed both financially and with tasks and house/lawn work.
   • If the above help is given without relationship, the home-bound become a project or a duty instead of a person. Not only are their basic emotional and relational needs not being met, but they also lose their identity as a person and sense of purpose. They begin to think of themselves as less than or as entitled to the help. They no longer realize that God loves them and has an important place for them in the church.
   • Relationship and meeting their needs are equally important. Resources to assist are found here.

In this post, we explored the disconnect and looked at how the church can help. In the next post, we will look at how the home-bound also can play a part. I encourage you to learn more about the “other side” of this challenging issue of ministering with instead of to the home-bound.