Disappointment comes with the disability/chronic illness territory whether you are the “patient” or the caregiver. It comes in several forms: sometimes meaning changing plans last minute to something you really want to attend, sometimes unable to attend events for long periods due to recovery, sometimes knowing that you will not be able to attend regular events due to limitations, and sometimes being misunderstood due to your struggle. No matter what form it comes in, it is tough. These times come even when our loved ones do all possible to accommodate us.

These disappointments are something that I have been learning to live with much more over the past decade or so. Yet, they are not easy. I know from talking to others in the same position that they feel it as well. One mentioned even this past week that she was sad to miss out on some ladies’ events at her church. She goes to a church who work very hard to make sure everyone can attend, but some events are not possible for her. It is tough. These disappointments are different from a healthy person’s missing events once in awhile due to health. Ours happen frequently and are ongoing. It is tough.

As I pondered disappointment after having to miss another event this week that I had really looked forward to, I was asking God how we should respond as children of God. This quote on lament from Mark Vroegop came to mind, “a prayer in pain that leads to trust.” That summed it up. We lament the disappointment. There is real pain, yet we trust. There is hope.

God feels our pain. Psalm 56:8, “8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” The New King James Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982), Ps 56:8. God puts our tears in a bottle. Yes, disappointment can bring real tears.

God draws near to those who are broken-hearted. Notice that I did not say God brushes off our disappointment or broken heart. He draws near. Psalm 34:18, “18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.” The New King James Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982), Ps 34:18.

God cares. We can trust Him. We can take our pain to Him in trust instead of letting the devil use the disappointment to get us off track of living for God. Then, God can even use the disappointment to change us for Him. Turn to God. 1 Peter 5:7, “7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” The New King James Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982), 1 Pe 5:7–11.

God comforts us through these disappointments; we can then comfort others with this same comfort. Wow. (Sometimes “Wow.” is the appropriate response to our great God, I think.) 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, “3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.” The New King James Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982), 2 Co 1:3–7.

Are you living with disappointment? Oh, friend, God cares. Take your pain to God in trust Him. He cares. Then, praise Him for His being in control!