Something we deal with in chronic illness and disability is sudden lifestyle change.

While it is very easy to know what others should be doing for lifestyle change or be frustrated when they struggle or make poor choices, reality is that lifestyle change is difficult.

As you know, the last few weeks have been difficult in my world with a significant and sudden lifestyle change due to a new allergy. We have been able to adjust the urgent, the immediate, needed changes. Now, I am working to figure out how to make life work with the new restrictions. As this is an anaphylactic reaction unlike my “allergies” caused by my autoimmune disease, the stakes are a bit higher. (And, the stakes are not exactly easy with the other “allergies.”)

What do we do at times like this? How do we deal with permanent and unexpected lifestyle change? Here are some things that have helped me:

• Realize that this is a huge change. Ask for God’s help immediately. Share with Him what you are feeling. (It is okay to feel these feelings. Take them to Him.)
• Reach out to your family and friends for needed support. Keep in mind that they may not fully understand and that is okay. You will need to help them understand the new lifestyle needs and that it is for your health. It may also take time for them to realize all the needed changes. Be sensitive. Some of them will be overwhelmed with it which can come across as uncaring.
• Research.
  • This may be by reaching out to others with similar conditions or searching online.
  • Of course, your doctor’s office may have pamphlets or suggestions as to where to look for information. However, I have found that learning the daily nitty gritty of living with new conditions and lifestyles often is better learned from those who live it.
  • YouTube, Pinterest, etc., may have boards with information from real people who live with the condition. Recipes, exercise routines, cleaning schedules, and more can be found on Pinterest with practical, do-able suggestions.
• Remember the thought. So… something I have learned over the years is that people have a few different reactions to the lifestyle change.
  • People have given me gifts and said, “I know you are allergic to this, but wanted to give you something.” Be gracious. I typically simply say “Thank you.” I don’t know how else to respond to that. Keep a sense of humor. (Others have given me the gift anyway as they know that I will be thrilled to have something to share with my family. This, to me, is a precious thought. These gifts brought great joy to my family!)
  • Others will say at gatherins, “This meal (candy, dessert, etc., etc.) is so delicious. It is too bad you are allergic.” or “This is amazing. You can’t eat it, though.” Ummm… thanks. Be gracious. I repeat, keep a sense of humor!
  • Then, there are those who take the time to ask about allergies. As they get the “deer in the headlight look,” I will often suggest something “easy” for them to do. If it is a meal, I will bring my own for the rest. They appreciate that! Some who ask work hard to make a fully allergen-friendly meal/gift. Treasure these times.
  • Don’t have expectations that your allergy will automatically be handled. Be proactive with people, letting them know ahead of time that you will be bringing your own food. Also, don’t have expectations that they will have something you can eat. It is hard for us, harder for those who are not used to it.
  • Most times, I have learned to be proactive and bring my own.
  • Remember the thought behind whatever happens is what counts. Most people truly are trying to be kind. They simply don’t know the best way to to it.
• Relax into the new lifestyle if possible. Depending on what the change is, slowly work it into your current lifestyle. Sadly, as in my case over the past few weeks, that is not always possible. However, if it is possible, slowly make healthy replacements of food or exercise. It will be easier to sustain if you make one or two small changes a week toward the new healthy lifestyle.
• Rest. What do I mean by that?
  • Give yourself grace. There will be missteps and setbacks along the way. Don’t fret. Rest by giving yourself grace and starting again.
  • Allow yourself time to accept what is changing.
  • Lean on Jesus. As you do, He brings rest to your soul even with the changes.
  • Find what works for you and rest in that despite what others say or understand. Each journey is different.

These are very general tips that have helped me. What have you found that helps? What would you tell someone else who is facing sudden lifestyle change? We would love to hear your thoughts!