Friday has come! In some ways, this has been a fast week. In others, so slow.

This is a raw, honest post. This week was rough. This week was one of those weeks when my strength ran out. I simply could not keep up the daily fight. Honestly, I fell apart Thursday morning as I told God all about it. I was simply worn out. After falling apart, total peace did not come, but He gave me quiet strength to face my day.

As you read through, please don’t focus on the first paragraphs which contain the hard. Focus on the italicized paragraphs that include the God-story, the faithful Friday news. My purpose in sharing is to show you our faithful God in the midst of the rough. I am human and weak. I know that many of you handle more rough than this on a daily basis. Our God is faithful. He loves us. He will provide.

This week was a chronic illness flare after a failed attempt to adjust meds for testing. I felt like a failure which I know logically is silly. Chronic illness flares and the meds to control them make everything harder to do physically as well handling them emotionally. I was spent and worn in the battle back to health.

God gave His strength. My strength was small. OK… it was gone, actually. God’s was big. Isaiah 40:29-31; Psalm 34:17 As I battled the weakness, God continued to bring songs and Scripture to mind. Thought-battles are the biggest struggle during these times.

By His grace, the chronic illness flare is settling down. What had to be done this week is done. The rest will wait. Accepting that is part of the help and strength that God gave.

My work place supported me as I couldn’t work full days a couple days as I fought back to health. God helped me accomplish what had to be done at work as well.

This week meant an appointment with a new doctor as another doctor had retired. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but it was. Those with complex or unusual medical issues will understand. Thoughts about took over. I kept forcing them back to God. I prayed myself out the door that day.

As I drove to the appointment, each song on the radio was about God going with us everywhere. Even in my fear, God quietly spoke. I was not alone. God faithfully walked beside me.

God used family and friends to encourage even when they may not have realized they were doing it. My sister in love texted words of encouragement leading up to the appointment. Other family walking deep valleys themselves shared back and forth as we faced our days. A dear friend who walks the valley and knows how these doctor appointments hit also supported through text and then laughter after as we recalled the little funny things that happened.

My car was still in the shop after two attempts to repair it; it was a long six weeks. It grated as I had just been given the go-ahead to go out after nearly five years of strict isolation to go out early in the morning armed with germ-x, mask, and a strict protocol. Now, I was still stuck in due to a car being in the shop. (Aren’t we funny people? I don’t get out much even with new “freedom,” but when that freedom was taken away, I felt trapped. It felt never-ending. It hurt.

God provided. The shop has been amazing, going above and beyond working to resolve the issue. It turned out that brand new parts were defective. They have treated us like family and done all they could, even giving a way to contact them after hours. My brother and sister-in-love provided rides or juggled things so that I would have a car for appointments that could not be rescheduled.

When I fell apart, God was there to help. Sometimes we feel as if we have to be strong in facing day after day of chronic illness, disability, isolation. We feel as if we always have to be happy and rejoicing. Life doesn’t work that way. Don’t hesitate to share the lament with God. He knows. He cares. Psalm 46. He keeps our tears in a bottle.

There was not an immediate return to joy and peace that sometimes comes, but a quiet strength to face the day. I prayed for some little miracle in the day, a God-sighting if you will. I unexpectedly have my car back. More than that, God gave strength for the day when mine was completely depleted.

The second half of Job 1:21 kept running through my mind this week. My independence and strength were taken away. How would I respond? Would I still praise? By God’s grace, I can. He is faithful!

I would love to hear about God’s faithfulness in your life this week.